The sharpest blade is the one in your back.
— Jakushìkyo Nichyoti, Tears of the Sun Queen
Lily was once again back in the carriage. It was early evening and she could hear the rattle of wooden wheels on the cobblestones blending with the vendors trying to hawk the last of their wares before packing up for the day.
She was uncomfortable. Her back ached from just below her shoulders to her tail bone, a strange rippling sensation from the purity spells that Tabithas had purchased for her. The magic was subtle but the old man who cast them was not a Kasin; his energies were causing random muscles to jerk and twist as her body and magic adjusted to the presence of the new spells.
Squirming, she leaned against the side of the carriage and took a deep breath. Spending a few hours having the spells laid on her had helped her calm down but she still felt the pressing need to work on Nirih's dress. She couldn't afford to pay off her mother's—no Sarlin's—loans before the end of the week.
The only concern was Hasan. She let out a soft moan. Even with her fear, part of her wanted to rip off her clothes and let him have his way with her well into the morning. Her body warmed at the thought but she clamped down on her fantasies. She couldn't afford to let him spend another night, not with Nirih's dress or Mindil's friendship.
She took another deep breath to steel herself. She knew he would be waiting for her when she returned home. It didn't matter if he had something to do, he would drop everything for her. She loved it and craved it, but she had to say no.
Lily wasn't sure if she had to strength to do so.
The din outside of the carriage grew quieter. She peeked out of the window and saw they were only a few blocks from her house. She tensed with anticipation and a twinge along her back scraped against her nerves.
When the carriage stopped in front of her house, Lily gathered her things.
Tabithas opened the door before she finished, the older woman bowing as she held it open with one gloved hand. “Welcome home, Bedame Lily dea Kasin.”
“Thank you.” She held out her hand. When Tabithas took it, she stepped down.
Tabithas swept up her bag behind her. “Does the bedame need help with her guest?”
“Guest?” Lily looked around and then up at her house. The front windows were open and the smells of freshly cooked dinner drifted out of them. She could also see new flowers in vases on either side of the door. “Oh.”
She took another deep breath. “No, no. I should deal with him.”
Lily turned to Tabithas. “Thank you. You've done so much for me and you didn't have to.”
“One cannot see a young girl grow up and then just abandon her on the side of the road.” Tabithas smiled. “However, you can't count on me watching you for everything. You are a wonderful young lady who has a bright future in front of you.”
“I can tell him no, right?” Lily glanced back up at the front door.
“Do you want him to stay the night?”
She sighed. “Yes…,” she started, “… but he can't. I can't, right?”
Tabithas glanced around and then leaned forward. “Do what you have to, do what is right for you. It doesn't matter what I think about him. It doesn't matter what he thinks. You need to take care of yourself, whatever that means.”
It took a moment for Lily to digest the words. “Thank you.” She leaned forward and hugged Tabithas tightly.
The old woman tensed for a moment and then hugged her back.
Lily wondered why for a moment and then realized she had never hugged Tabithas before. The older woman had initiated them before, but they were matronly not in friendship. In fact, she hadn't shown any affection for any of her mother's staff before. With a blush, she pulled back. “S-Sorry.”
Tabithas shook her head. “No, don't be.”
“I'm not supposed… to do that.”
“Then why did you?” Tabithas asked with a wink.
“Because it felt right.”
“Then it probably was.” With a smile, Tabithas carried Lily's bags up to the door. Turning around, she tapped her heels together and bowed again. “Anything else?”
Lily smiled warmly. “Thank you but I think I'm good.”
Tabithas returned to her carriage. Getting up on the seat, she called out. “Send for me if you need me.”
Lily nodded. She watched as the older woman drove away, leaving her alone with a man she desperately wanted but had to say no. Gritting her teeth, she picked up her bags and went inside.
Hasan had been cooking for a while. There were platters on the table already, covered in bowls and steaming. She could see that he had made another feast. There was far more than either of them could eat.
She set down her bags. “Hasan?”
He walked out of the kitchen. He wore a new suit with her apron over it again. There was a smear of flour on his chest and along one sleeve.
Lily stumbled. He looked beautiful in that moment, a strange contrast of domestic and desire. Her body fluttered with heat as she remembered how he kissed her and how he dove between her legs to pleasure her. The heat grew as she struggled with the words.
“Lily,” he said in a low voice. Walking up to her, he pulled her into his arms. The warmth and comfort surrounded her, reminding her that he was hopelessly in love with her.
Lily wanted to say no. She had practiced it endlessly on the carriage ride home. Even the pressing need to work on the dress faded away as she looked up into his warm brown eyes and let her gaze travel along his lips. She loved his kisses, she loved the way he touched her skin or ran his tongue along the inner part of her thigh.
Hasan brought his mouth to hers. “I missed you,” he whispered.
Inwardly, Lily's emotions fought with her sanity. She wanted to say no but her heart jumped at the thought of being kisses gain. With a soft gasp, she leaned into it, bridging the gap between them.
The touch of his lips against her own was electric, a surge of lust that rippled down her spine and directly into her sex. She grew liquid in an instant with the soft caress and touch of his hands spreading along her hips.
Hasan's breath tasted of honey and wine, a tangy scent right on the edge of her senses. He broke the embrace long enough to inhale and then dove back in. He ran his lips against her own and flicking out with her tongue. He was aggressive, leaning into his kisses.
Lily's bags slipped from her fingers as she leaned back. She lost herself for a moment to enjoy the embrace.
“H-Hasan, I have…” It was too hard to speak.
His fingers danced along her side and around her back. Hasan brought his palm to the small of her back, right along the tight muscles, and pulled her close.
She inched forward until she could feel his hardness pressing into her stomach as a heated brand. Even the thick fabric of his suit wasn't enough to hide the lust that was inside. She could too easily picture the long length poised to enter her deeply, to fill her until she cried out with pleasure.
Lily pulled back. “No, we have to stop.”
Hasan held her firmly. He moved his kisses to the side of her cheek and then down to the sensitive spot between her neck and her shoulder.
Her body grew hotter and a liquid flooded between her legs. She gasped, her eyes fluttering with the effort to resist. With a soft moan, she stepped back up to his hardness and let him guide her into another kiss.
With his spare hand, Hasan brought his fingertips up along her flanks, then up along the side of her breast. He spread his fingers over her nipple and held her, adding to the pressure as he kissed her harder and faster.
Lily gasped. It felt good to be held. Her aching nipple ground against his palm, little sparks of pleasure racing along her skin as she rocked her hips up against his sheathed cock.
“I want to taste you,” he said softly.
She knew exactly what he meant. Even though she had never thought of it before—she didn't even know it was possible—the memory of him pressing his lips up against her naked sex had burned itself into her memories. It was the purest pleasure she had ever had. Her body grew hotter with the memory, a desire rising up and making it difficult to say anything. She gasped.
“Please? I need you.”
Her willpower crumbled and the tension left her body.
Hasan tugged up her dress, pulling it along her bare thigh and drawing it up. At the same time, he broke the kiss and lowered himself to his knees in front of her.
Lily's pulse beat inside her as she stared down at the man. Her body tensed as he finished pushing up her dress against her hips, revealing her bare legs and the pair of panties that rested between them.
Hasan smiled and drew his hands down, sliding his fingertips underneath the fabric and tugging them down.
Lily whimpered softly as he exposed her sex to his hungry eyes. She could feel his attention on her, it was a heated flame.
Without hesitating, Hasan leaned forward and parted his lips. His tongue reached out to trail through the curly hairs over her pubis. He swirled around, painting her dampness with his tongue.
Lily clutched the side of the table tightly. She wanted to ask him to stop but couldn't. Her eyes remained locked on his mouth as he worked his way further down, tilting his head as he brought his tongue up against the heated and sensitive slit.
When he delved his tongue between her nether lips, she let out a low moan. It was so different than being impaled on his cock. His tongue swirled around her labia, caressing her delicate folds as he worked his way deeper into her sex.
Hasan tilted his head further back, laving her clitoris with wet slurps. Every stroke ignited more fires inside her, adding to her liquid heat. His eyes closed as he savored her, drawing his tongue up along her sensitive clitoris in long, deep strokes that curled her toes and stole her breath away.
She could do nothing but focus on the sensations. Her body trembled and tensed with every lap. She pushed her hips down to meet his strokes, silently begging for him to delve deeper into her body.
After an infinity of pleasure, he brought his hands up between her legs. Gently spreading her limbs apart, he worked one finger into her sex. The opening clung to his fingers, squeezing down as he pumped slowly into her sensitive opening.
“Oh, oh!” she gasped, shaking more as he plunged his finger deeper into her slick opening. She could feel him caressing her insides, teasing and exploring as he drove deeper with every stroke.
Soon, his knuckles were against her labia with every stroke. The wet smacks against her sex shot through her body and she could feel him curling and teasing deep inside her sex. Her inner walls clung to his fingertips, squeezing down as he swirled inside her liquid depths.
Hasan lapped harder and faster, adding a second finger into her opening. Her insides stretched around his digits, the pleasure of being filled doubling with the second finger.
He continued to plunge in and out with slow, deep movements. With every stroke, she pushed down to meet his hand.
Lily panted as her orgasm was teased out of her. It was hard to do anything else with a tongue lapping at her clitoris and two fingers pumping in and out of her aching sex.
Her orgasm rose up inside her, slow and sexual. She gasped with the pleasure rising inside her. She pushed down and met his strokes. “Faster,” she whimpered.
He obeyed, plunging his fingers into her with short strokes. His digits swirled inside her, caressing against raw nerves, before he drew it out slowly. She could feel every ridge and bump of his fingers as they slipped past the tight opening.
She whimpered and ground down, striving for the orgasm that built up inside her. She had to grip the table tightly for balance as she did, but when she found the right angle to impaled herself, it transformed her pleasure into an orgasm.
With a strangled cry, she slumped down on his hand. It impaled her fully, filling her completely as her body clenched and jerked with her pleasure. Muscles tensed into rock hardness as she slowly fell down, pulling his mouth from her clitoris.
Hasan teased her with his tongue. He lapped her pubis and then up over her belly and then to her ribs as she sank to the floor in sated pleasure.
He smiled at her. “I missed you.”
Panting, Lily stared at him. She felt sick that she couldn't resist him. Even as she considered kicking him out, her body cried out for another orgasm. She wanted him so badly. She craved to feel his hardness driving inside her or his tongue against her clitoris with more licks.
Lily struggled with her emotions. He stood over her, his cock hard with his own desires.
Guilt filled her. She couldn't ask him to leave with his hardness tenting his pants. At the same time,s he knew that she had to for Mindil's and her sake.
She looked up at him and fought the sudden tears. “I-I'm sorry.”
Hasan stepped back with a frown. “For what?”
“I need to stop.” She wanted to say something about Mindil but the words froze in her throat. “I have too much to do tonight and tomorrow.”
Hasan looked heartbroken. He rubbed his hard cock.
Lily's heart almost snapped in two. She wanted to take back her words, to beg for him to stay the night. She knew it was wrong, but she didn't think she had the strength to tell him no.
“Why?” he asked in a low, desperate voice.
She didn't think she could answer him directly. With a whimper, she leaned back against the table leg that she had fallen in front of. “P-Please don't ask. We can't. We can't do this.”
Hasan sighed and stepped away. His marriage bracelet clinked against itself. He looked down at it and then back up to her. “No, it's okay.”
Lily found strength. She pushed herself back up. Trembling and fighting herself every step, she reached out for his hands.
He took them, eagerly thrusting them into her palms.
Lily took a deep breath. “I love you, Hasan. I really do. Last night was… the best night I had ever had. But I also love your wife—”
She hesitated, the words weren't coming out as she intended. They were coming out though, to her surprise, but she had already committed to finishing the sentence.
Hasan's eyes widened.
“—and that means I can't spend the night with you.”
“She won't mind.” He shook his head.
Lily shook her head. “No, I mind. Please? Please let me go without making me fight for it?”
Hasan nodded and sighed dramatically. “I can, for tonight.”
Lily was crying and she didn't know why. “T-Thank you.”
Head hanging, Hasan untied his apron and carefully set it on the table next to her. He looked at the kitchen once and then headed for the door.
It broke her heart to see him rejected, more so that he was leaving her. It took all of her willpower not to call out to him and beg for him to spend the night. Sniffing, she turned away from the door as he opened it. The kitchen was as good of a place to focus as anything. With blurry eyes, she stared at the steaming platters of flood he had made for her.
She managed to hold herself still until the door shut behind her. Trembling, she waited a long count before peeking over her shoulder, half afraid he remained inside waiting for a second chance.
She was alone.
She wasn't sure why, but a profound sense of loss flooded inside her. She slumped forward as the tears began.