Oh, Misnir, how I dream of you as I lay in my wedding bed. The heat in my hand and the thoughts in my head, they push me to end the sham I have joined, to finish it with the sharpest of knives and tears of blood.
— Gladir Kasin, Misnir and Romeon (Act 2, Scene 1)
Lily pushed open her front door with one hand and stepped into her house. She didn’t need the flickering runes to find the rose lantern. Turning it on, she continued into the kitchen as the door swung shut behind her.
Lily screamed as she spun around.
Hasan stood in the door, one hand planted on the runes. The flashes of light highlighted his face and his eyes seemed to glow. As the rose lantern came to life and the door’s runes faded, the shadows drifted across his face.
She pressed a hand against her chest, trying to will her panicked heart to calm down. “Hasan! Don’t do that!”
At first, she thought it was Kendrick talking to her. He had a strange habit of showing up unexpectedly. She was both relieved and disappointed it was Hasan but those thoughts quickly evaporated as she focused completely on Hasan.
“Sorry,” Hasan said in a low voice, “I had to check on you.”
He stepped inside and let the door shut behind her. The groan of the wood swelling filled the entry hall.
“What are you doing here, Hasan? It’s almost midnight.”
Hasan tugged on his coat, it was moist from the evening mist. It parted to reveal that he still wore his suit underneath his coat. “I was just enjoying a little walk and saw you come home. I needed to see you again.”
A flash of desire rose up inside her. Clutching her arms over her chest, she struggled with the rapidly growing desire and her guilt. “Y-You shouldn’t be here,” she whispered.
He walked closer, his wingtip shoes loud in the hallway. “Can’t I? I want to see you again. Mindil said it was okay.”
She wanted to back away, to flee from him, but her body froze in place. The memories slammed into her and she focused on his lips, trying to remember exactly how it felt when he kissed her. A heat spread out from between her legs as she recalled his hand against her mons.
Hasan stopped in front of her. He reached out and rested his palms against her elbows. His wedding bracelet clinked softly.
Inhaling sharply at the electric surge that poured through her, Lily swayed. Guilt slammed into her, but so did an overwhelming euphoria. She struggled with her own thoughts, fighting the urge to sink into his arms and trying to gather the strength to step away.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he said. His hands slid up to her shoulders, cupping them. He toyed with the edges of her collar but she didn’t have the will to turn to watch.
When he tugged the fabric along her neck, she shivered. Lips parted, she stared into his eyes. “W-We shouldn’t.”
“I want you. Now. Here.”
Panting herself, she lifted her head up to Hasan, lining her lips up to his.
He guided her back without looking over her shoulder. Their footsteps were slow and unsteady, like two dancers learning how to work with each other. A moment later, her credenza bumped against the back of her thighs.
Lily inhaled sharply as heat flashed through her.
“No,” Hasan whispered as he cupped her buttocks, holding her tight against him. His hardness ground against her belly, a swollen heat that she could feel through the fabric. With a grunt, he picked her up and set her on the edge of the dark wood.
“Hasan…” Lily murmured, unable to take her eyes away from his.
He answered by bowing his head and sliding up against her. His hips thumped against her knees and then slipped into the gap between them.
She resisted for only a heartbeat and then spread her legs, welcoming him in until he nestled in the junction of her thighs. She wondered if he could feel the heat rolling from her body. Only a few layers of moist fabric separated the two of them.
Lily closed her eyes, focusing on the heat seeping through his trousers and the hardness that ground against her sensitive crotch. It nestled into her furrow, the pressure from one end to the other drove a gasp from her throat.
Hasan’s lips rolled the chain of her necklace only a rapid heartbeat before he pressed against her collar. The touch was light at first, soft and sweet, but electric. Her mind flashed with pleasure as he worked his lips along the curve up to her neck, to nuzzle against the sensitive part at the crook.
She clutched his shoulders, holding him tight. She brought her feet up around his thighs, pulling him close to enjoy the heated hardness against her sex. Every pulse of his body, she felt as a hammer blow. It was intoxicating and overwhelming.
He hooked his thumbs into her collar and pulled it open, sliding the fabric over her shoulder. The brush of air against her skin only added to the building heat inside her.
When his marriage bracelet trailed against her arm, it was the only cool thing between them. It would be so easy to ignore his infidelity. She wanted him, needed him inside her. Every moment alone with him was one less moment of loneliness.
The image of Mindil rose up but it didn’t cool the heat inside her. Instead, it fanned it with the memories of the woman’s affection that was just as intense as Hasan’s.
Lily screwed her eyes tightly as she build up the courage, fighting the urge to rock her hips into Hasan’s hips. She leaned into him, pressing her nose against his neck and breathing in the heady scent of his excitement and sweat.
Licking her lips, she kissed him once. “Hasan.”
He moaned and tugged her dress further down. The collar caught on the upper swells of her breast. She inhaled, which increased the pressure, but also rubbed her aching nipples against the inside of the silk.
“Has…” She took a deep breath, fighting the heat and desire. It would only take a moment to pull up her dress. She wanted him to do it, to slide his fingers between her thighs and plunge into her. But, she bit her lip and tried again. “Hasan, stop.”
He froze, his lips pressing against her neck and his hot breath tickling her skin. His ridge beat with his excitement, the heat seeping into her body and keeping her own passions inflamed.
“You… I…” Lily struggled with the words. “We can’t keep doing this.”
“I want you,” he said, holding her tight.
“I… I want you too.” She squeezed her thighs around him, pinning him hard against her body.
He thrust against her, dragging his hardness against her seam.
“But!” she gasped as she fought with the urge to reach down and claw her clothe away. Tears blurred her vision. “You are married to a wonderful woman and I can’t ruin that. I can’t be Misnir to your Romeon.”
Hasan stiffened. He kissed her again.
“Hasan… Has, please.” She wanted to yank him closer but the only thing she could do was relax her legs and spread them, giving him a chance to step away, to be the strong one.
He didn’t move.
She pressed her hands against his chest, felt the pounding beneath the skin. It was the same beat that pulsed between her legs, the protection of thin layers of fabric was not enough to diminish the beat. She tried to push him away, but her fingers refused to move.
“I can’t lose you,” he finally said.
“You won’t. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
He kissed her neck, a single moment that quickened her pulse.
Slowly, he pulled away until he was levered away from her, her hands on his chest, but his body still tight between her legs. “I know, but I can’t help myself. Don’t you want me also?”
“More than you can imagine.”
He leaned into her to press his hardness against her again.
She moaned and panted, but forced herself. “I can’t let you ruin everything with Mindil just because I want you so badly. I crave you, but I can’t have you.”
“You can have me,” he whispered low in his throat, “just say yes. She won’t mind.”
He ran his hands along her breasts, following the curve until his fingertips were against her hard nipples.
Lily moaned and she arched her back into his touch.
“Just say yes.” He rolled one nipples between his fingers and little bolts of pleasure arced along her skin.
With a sigh, she pulled back. “No.”
Hasan bowed his head.
“I want you so badly but I can’t have you. Please, I don’t think I can stop you if you don’t go.”
He slipped his hands off her breasts. She whimpered softly, wishing she could bring them back. His fingertips trailed against her stomach and then over her hips, each caress an electric surge that filled her body. When he stopped, his hands were on her thighs. His long fingers wrapped around her skin. “I can’t lose you, Lily.”
“You have to remain true to her.”
He licked his lips. “How far can we go without me breaking my bonds with Mindil?”
The logical part of her wanted to say “nowhere”, but her longing spoke first. “Maybe just kissing?”
He looked up, his brown eyes smoldering. Leaning forward, he brought his lips to hers. “Like this?”
Guilt poured into her, filing her with a bitter brew, even as she whispered yes and leaned into the kiss. It was passionate and hot, their lips moving together and their breath intermingling. The heat of her body rose into an intense burning and she felt moisture slicking her inner depths.
His hands stroked her thighs, moving up and slow in slow movements that matched the slow, almost imperceptible rocking of his hips. The pulse, the pressure against her sex felt good.
Lily pushed him back. “That’s all,” she said, knowing full well that she already wanted the next one. “One kiss.”
“One kiss a visit?”
“One a day… at the most,” she lied.
Hasan finally stepped back, trailing his fingers along her inner thighs. During their embrace, he was only inches from her aching clitoris and she felt every inch that he traced from her hips to her knees like a brand.
When he stepped away, she could see the ridge in his trousers pushing out from the gap of his coat. It looked large and swollen, no doubt uncomfortable. He shoved it back into his coat and buttoned it close. “I-I should go.”
He looked at her, eyes bright enough to burn the clothes off her body.
She felt a ache spreading across her nipples, her desire for him.
“Good—” He licked his lips, “—good evening, Kudame Kasin.”
“And to you, Tasire Kasin.”
She couldn’t move as he slowly made his way back to her front door. When he turned the handle, it groaned as it pulled away from the frame and the yellow runes flickered across the surface.
Lily held her breath until the door shut and then let it out with a rush. ”Detokimùsa.” It was a barbarian curse. She didn’t know what it meant, but there were no polite words for the frustration, guilt, and longing she felt. She also felt crass for even saying it.
Slipping off the credenza, she had to clutch to it to avoid swooning. When she regained her balance, she took one look at the kitchen before heading up the stairs.
“I need a bath.”